My grandfather met my grandmother at a dance hall; he was 23, and she was 19. She was there with a date, but when the time was suitable (and my Grandfather had gathered his courage), he cut in.
“I cut in,” he would tell people. I must have heard the story 100 times.
“I went up to her and I asked, ‘May I have this next dance?’ She said yes.” He loved her deeply for the next 75 years.
What an incredible way to make a move. How often does a woman hear that question today? “May I have this next dance?” Frankly, I think many women would appreciate hearing those words.
What do those words signify? They signify - I want to hold you. I want to look in your eyes, and smell your perfume, and maybe even whisper something funny in your ear. I think it is a very gentlemanly thing to ask a woman to dance. You are asking to lead her while in motion. One wrong move and she could trip and fall…
Throughout my life, from childhood on, I dreamed of this happening to me. I dreamed of the day that a man would cross a crowded room to ask me to dance. I had it happen a few times at ballroom dance class in 6th grade. The experience was mortifying. Picture a line of 25 boys and 25 girls on opposite sides of a large, white-walled, brightly lit event space. The girls stand nervously, tugging at their white cotton gloves. The boys wipe their drenched palms against their suit pants. The boys had to cross the room to the line of ladies and ask them to dance. The parent volunteers stand by, watching. I am pretty sure that I would want to be that parent if I had kids in ballroom dance class. It sounds endlessly entertaining.
Fast forward to high school when “put your hands on the floor - boots with the fur - get low - and shake your tail feather ” was the popular music. At our high school dances, men would often dance together, sometimes even body slamming one another, while girls would dance in circles together as well. If they did dance together, it was this thing called “grinding” where the women would… Well, you get the picture. There was no waltzing, or swaying, or whispers in my ear. It was too loud for that, anyway.
Do we dance today…? At weddings and bar mitzvahs - sure. But what about on a Saturday night at someone’s apartment? Do people ever move aside the furniture, put on some music, and dance? I’m sure that in many places they do, but I don’t hear about it very often (or frankly, ever). Apparently, that whole “moving the furniture aside to dance” -- that used to be a thing.
Community dances, balls, socials - these used to be regularly attended affairs. They morphed into the disco, pop, R&B, and techno clubs of today. These clubs can be pretty enjoyable. I have spent many nights dancing until the wee hours to electronic and house music. I am a huge fan.
Dancing does something for the soul - and also for the mojo. When you move your hips and sway to the music, you connect with a part of yourself that is… sensual.
Dancing remains a prevalent practice in many cultures. Orthodox Jews are notorious for their boisterous single-sex dancing at weddings. The 20s and 30s crowd in cities often dances the night away at nightclubs. In many cities, there are salsa clubs and ballroom dance classes, although they tend to skew older. Regular dancing is not the norm these days. (Or am I mistaken…?) As far as I know, the days of “will you save me a slot on your dance card” are pretty much gone. Please, correct me if I’m wrong. (But if I’m not, why are they gone…?)
Last night I attended a transcendental dance event called 5Rhythms, a movement meditation practice designed to free the mind and uplift the spirit through dance. Imagine 50 people in a beautiful, dimly lit circular room with fans and a great sound system. Everybody letting free and dancing to their heart’s content. The music was extraordinary, led by a skilled DJ facilitator. Two hours in, every person in the room was lying on the floor, sweaty, exhausted, and moved.
Dancing is one of the most beautiful parts of being human. It enables us to connect, physically and emotionally, with music that lifts our hearts and souls. If able to partake, what a blessing.
Perhaps tonight, we dance…
Thank you for reading. 🙏🏼
~ Michelle
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